OK, totally shook. I had the weirdest dream last night… Well, technically, early this morning, because the ones I have just before I wake up are for some reason the strange ones.
(Good morning, by the way. Please feel free to help yourself to some chocolate chip cake for breakfast because that’s how we roll around here.)
Anyway, the dream included this dude…
Otherwise known as my boyfriend, otherwise known as Keanu Reeves. In my dream he was the present-day bearded and long-haired John Wick-version of Keanu.
We were at a wine bar on a date, and it started off all cute and sweet, but things went south when Keanu proceeded to get totally and completely sh*t-faced, sloppy drunk.
I was not in the mood at all for nonsense and had no patience for his toddler-esque tomfoolery, but I still wanted to stay on the date and not go home quite yet, so in the stern “Mom Tone” usually reserved for bratty children, I said to our server, “I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS MAN RIGHT NOW!” And then I parked his drunk @ss at a table with some random nerdy looking comic book dudes and went about my business of having a good time.